To my daughter, my best friend, my whole heart, my pride and joy, the one who already has me in tears writing this, just one sentence in…
I know you are too young to fully understand how our lives are going to change soon and no matter how much I talk with you about your brother, you aren’t going to quite get it yet. Its hard on me, because I don’t know how you are going to react. I don’t know if you will find him to be the most perfect thing in the world, like my brother did when I was born… or like he’s the worst thing that could have possibly happened, like I did when my little brother was born. I can only hope for the best.
But, please, baby girl, always know you are loved. You will always be my first baby and the one who showed me how much I can really feel. Before you, I was a different person. Now, I live my life to be the best person that I possibly can and I owe it all to you!
Never doubt yourself or my love for you, baby. Anytime you feel like you need mommy’s cuddles, even if your brother is stealing them, I will always have another arm for you too. I will happily suffer through the dead arms and uncomfortable-ness for you and your brother. I do and will love your brother just as much, but that will never, ever, ever, take away from your mommy’s love for you baby girl.
If you wake up to a bad dream, don’t be afraid to come climb in bed, or call out for me, even if you know I’ve been up with your brother all night. I will always be there if you need me. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will ever change that. Even when you’re 30 with kids, you can always count on me to be right there when you need me.
Most of all, please don’t ever feel replaced. If I worry about anything, it’s this. You are ,and will always be, my baby too. When you were born, I found this whole pile of love inside me that I didn’t even know was there and I gave it all to you, completely. I give it to you everyday and every night and I will continue to for the rest of my life, and past that. It will always be yours, sweet girl. ALWAYS. I am positive that your brother will release his own pile of love when he is born, completely separate from yours, but just as big and wonderful. You’ll find some yourself as you get to know him.
Please love your brother. I don’t know if he’ll be just like you, the total opposite, or somewhere in between, but he will always be your brother. The same blood, the same wonderful mommy and daddy, and most of all YOUR brother. He isn’t taking anything away from you (besides maybe a toy once in a while), but he is giving you something very special. Something you’ve never had before and something many people never get… and that’s a little BROTHER! He is a gift to you and I hope you can treasure him as so.
He will look up to you in so many ways, because to him, you will always have been around. He won’t know life without you. To him, you will be smarter and bigger, but be able to understand him in ways that we may not. Teach him. Love him. Cuddle him. Don’t be afraid to be his sister.