This will be a bit of a rant post, so bare with me. It’s something that has been weighing on me for a little while now and this is just a way to get it out and possibly help others not feel alone if they, too, are getting similar comments. If you’re only here for food, don’t worry! I have some great things coming!
Although most people have been great to us about our veganism and understand that we, as a family, are only doing what we feel is best, not everyone has. If someone has something negative to say, it doesn’t usually bother me in the least. I find it a perfect time to help educate others and be an advocate for what I feel like has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made; for myself and my family. I tell people all the time that it truly makes me feel wonderful to spread the message when and however I can. It’s the sole reason I started this blog.
With that being said, there has been one remark that has really offended me. Maybe it’s just the pregnancy hormones, but I haven’t been able to shake it and let it go since. “If this baby comes out healthy… then maybe I’ll believe in it.” was said by someone in our family. I know, it could be so much worse, but what if, heaven-forbid, something does go wrong? There are so many ways that something could potentially not go perfectly and I don’t think it’s fair to blame me, or veganism on it. My son doesn’t deserve that and I don’t deserve the guilt that if he has any array of problems that it’s somehow my fault.
When people discuss what I am doing wrong as a mother, it honestly doesn’t get to me because I know that I am only doing my best and that’s all I can do. If I’m screwing up my children, I will always know that I only did what I always felt to be the right thing and as a parent, that is all you can do; hope for the best and do your very best. It’s a rare occasion that I even second guess myself. I trust myself as a mother and I think I am doing a fabulous job. I believe this lifestyle is what is best for us, 150 percent.
But, the likely-hood that everything goes absolutely perfect throughout 9 months of pregnancy, labor and delivery, and his first years of life are slim. Things happen. Uncontrollable things. Babies get sick, toddlers sometimes end up with some developmental delays, at times abnormalities, and the list of possible “problems” could go on forever. It really does bother me that even the smallest of issues could result in these same people trying to make me feel like if I were to have just eaten some chicken, everything would be fine. I know it wouldn’t be true, but I also know these people will also somehow feel like they were right and they will blame me (as if only vegan babies end up with problems).
I have been so lucky to have had seriously no real issues with RA. When I was pregnant, I never had any concerns or scares. Labor and delivery went as well as I believe it could have. We had some trouble breast-feeding early on and she has gotten some slight colds, but that’s it. She’s only been to the doctor for wellness checks in her 18 months of life. She’s been such a good, perfect little girl. She’s in the 90th percentile for height and weight and developmentally nearly a 2 year old. She’s so smart and beautiful and just perfect in my eyes. What are the odds that I’ll have 2 babies to be so perfect, easy, and overall completely healthy? I absolutely hope so, but I know that’s not how it always works and that’s where this comment bothers me.
Yes, as a I said before, it has been the only real unfavorable remark that has gotten to me. It’s not who said it that makes a difference (their opinions of me have always been negative), it’s that I feel they truly hope something does go terribly wrong to my completely innocent, unborn son and that I will be absolutely at fault. If it were, guilt will be the last thing we would need as a family and it’s completely unwarranted and one-sided.
*picture of perfect Baby Benjamin <3
Don’t worry though, guys. As much as I think about it, I do completely understand that it will not be the case and I will in no way be to blame and sometimes people will be cruel. My daughter is healthy and happy and vegan and my son will be the same, whether something were to go wrong or not. They will both be loved to the fullest capacity possible and be taught to care about their health and have compassion and love for ALL beings. I will continue to give my family all that I have and my very best, and I will never let the naysayers control my life and feelings.